Divorce Mediation: #7 of 10 Reasons to Avoid Adversarial Divorce Litigation | Hugo, MN

 

#7.    The win/lose mentality denies the benefits of cooperation and seeking workable solutions for all.

The very nature of adversarial divorce litigation tends to push the process into a win/lose mentality.  The lawyers want to “win” the case.  They want to “win” the best possible outcome for their clients.  Unfortunately, when individuals fight for their RIGHTS at all cost – there usually is a cost to the relationships and to other members of the family system. 

When the couple has children, the most important thing is not their RIGHTS as adults… it’s about their RESPONSIBILITIES to their children.  Rather than a self-centered focus on “winning”, it is much healthier for all involved to adopt a cooperative or collaborative stance.  A Collaborative Divorce Process or Divorce Mediation will utilize the following process in order to discover a better outcome for everyone involved.

 Roadmap to Resolution:   A Process for Negotiation on Substantive Issues

Step 1 – Identify goals, needs, and interests

Step 2 – Gather all relevant information

Step 3 – Generate and evaluate multiple options

Step 4 – Negotiate to resolution

 Step 5 – Draft the agreement

 This is the road to a win/win result. This process has proven to open minds and generate the best options for considering the interests of all parties.  Time and time again I have seen people embrace the concept of being concerned not only for their own goals, but also for the needs and interests of their spouse and children.   They were empowered to make the best decisions possible for their future. 

Call Dorman Mediation today for more information.

Adversarial litigation teaches people the opposite of the skills they will need to create a healthier and more peaceful future – according to Matthew J. Sullivan, Ph.D. This is #7 of ten points adapted from Sullivan’s July 2010 presentation to the Minnesota chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC).

ALSO SEE…

8.    Parties learn to deliberately sabotage the other and often use massive distortion to damage the other’s reputation.

6.    Chaos becomes the norm, rather than creating order.

 

 

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