Divorce Mediation: #2 of 10 Reasons to Avoid Adversarial Divorce Litigation | Columbia Heights, MN

#2.    Financial and emotional resources are depleted.

There is a question that divorcing couples ought to ask themselves.  Who’s children do you want to put through college?  Yours or your lawyers?  And the answer ought to stop them in their tracks.

A simple litigated divorce may average $15,000 in lawyer fees.  But I am hearing of too many cases where the bill ran up to $35,000, or $60,000, or $80,000, or $300,000.  Yes I personally know of two families who spent 2-3 years fighting over finances and spent a fortune doing it.  And the toll it took on them was not just in the six-figure attorney fees.  There was a significant emotional price to pay by being engaged for such a long time in litigation.   One party said that it was like trying to function while wearing a straight jacket. The emotional toll made it impossible to function normally.  Another person talked of going out to the mailbox, seeing a letter from the spous’s attorney, and standing in the street frozen and trembling – wondering what further damaging attack would be enclosed.

There has got to be a better way to resolve family disputes… and there is!  Ask Dorman Mediation about the Collaborative Divorce Process or Divorce Mediation.  Call or email for a free one-hour consultation to look at healthier and less-costly options. 

Adversarial litigation teaches people the opposite of the skills they will need to create a healthier and more peaceful future – according to Matthew J. Sullivan, Ph.D.   This is number two of ten points adapted from Sullivan’s July 2010 presentation to the Minnesota chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC).


3.    The other parent is defined as the problem – the adversary.

1.      This dysfunctional model is a self-perpetuating trap.  A dependency on litigation to solve ongoing conflict is created when people do not learn alternative skills.  They end up going back to court over and over.

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