Divorce: Dealing with Money During the Separation

Mediating a Temporary Financial Agreement for the Separation Period

Change is hard for all of us, and changes that tighten our belt (financially) are especially hard.  The reality is that there are MORE expenses with the two of you separated, but NO MORE MONEY. This is a recipe for frustration, anger, fighting, resentment, bitterness, rage…. (do I need to go on?)

Without help, people are often stuck in the rut of venting fears and frustrations, without creating the documentation that will lead to negotiation and agreement. A mediator will help you engage in a negotiation to find something workable for everybody. Then you can create an agreement ON PAPER that you can live by. 

A recipe for making it through this awkward separation period.  

EACH person needs to honestly answer the following questions:

  1. Take a look at realistic individual budgets for the restructuring of the family.
  2. What bills will you pay out of your funds?
  3. What bills are you asking (not demanding!) your partner to pay out of their funds?
  4. Regarding temporary subsidy…
    1. To the one with greater need:  How much subsidy will you need each month? 
    2. To the one with greater means:  How much subsidy are you able to provide? 

The key to negotiating a workable temporary agreement is for both parties to clearly understand all this information and have it documented on paper.

The reality is that separated couples need to determine a PLAN … RIGHT AWAY, and let the plan be the safety net that allows you to close joint accounts and move onward to financial independence.  

Making a plan & separating finances needs to happen in a timely manner. The longer this drags on, the more difficult it will get.  Most people benefit greatly by having a non-anxious person guide them through a process of decision making.  Mediation is a great tool to utilize for conflict resolution and making a plan to move forward.

If you need someone who can help you RIGHT AWAY with a temporary financial agreement, call Dorman Mediation today.


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